Four months ago I would not have expected to be here. Not that sitting at the Ottawa airport, drinking a Tim’s coffee is all that unusual. No, this is unexpected because of what I’m between. I’m on a six hour layover between Toronto and London, England. I’m embarking on an adventure I did not think was in the cards for me even half a year ago.

Six months ago I was in a relationship that was not necessarily amazing, but it was good, and we were in love. At least I thought it was good. She thought otherwise and ended it, saying, “maybe we’ll talk in five years.” That was a sucker punch that left me bowled over.

That week my mom found me a cheap flight to join my family at an amazing conference. I had initially not planned to attend it so I could spend my time off with someone else, somewhere else. That conference reminded me of the dreams I had begun to shutter, the world I was planning on shrinking, for the sake of being in a relationship that was not, in retrospect, really good for either of us.

I don’t want to watch my world shrink, I don’t want the dreams I’ve had to disappear before I’ve given them everything I have. So I sit at the airport, waiting for the plane that will join me to the vast landscape of our world. Here goes nothing.