In the wake of Adam Giambrone’s recent scandal in a teapot I’ve been reflecting on the deeper problem surrounding his actions. He never grew up. How else do you explain his immature actions?

It isn’t just him. I would put myself in the same category. I believe we’ll see a whole generation of men who are not wholly grown up. We have forgotten the rites of passage, the conversations with our children about what adulthood, and manhood is all about.

Mark Driscoll talks about how culture feminizes men. I would humbly beg to differ. Both Christian and secular culture have forgotten how to train children, especially boys, into adulthood. There is no education in self-control, responsibility, or faith that is strong enough to make men out of boys. I would argue that Mark Driscoll’s machismo is as much a product of a failed full entry into adulthood as my weaknesses in being a responsible young man.

I’m not sure what the solution is. I can only say that we are failing to produce men. We are making adult-shaped children.

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January

January was a strange month. It started out in one of my favorite places with some of my favorite people Ottawa, with my friends from Augustine College. I returned to Toronto to face a few realities though.

First among these realities was that 2009 was not the best year of my life, not even close.  Somewhere in the process of coming home from school and turning a long distance relationship into a regular relationship I lost sight of the big picture.  I realized last month just how self-involved I had been, and to some extent still am.  I realized that I had not been able to see past my own nose, my own problems, and my own wants and desires to recognize the deleterious effects my self-involvement had on my relationships.

What I’m starting to realize is that when Christ told his disciples to die to themselves it was because the self is selfish.  When we live in Christ all our relationships find a new, right, ordering.  This ordering operates according to the original design for human relationships.  I have realized in the past month, as I’ve tried to incorporate disciplines of prayer, study, and fasting into my life, that the more I lean on Christ, the better my peripheral relationships become.  The more I turn inwards, the more I treat others like objects.  My prayer while attending Candlemas tonight was this: “Lord, let me love you first, so that I may love others through you.”

I can only care, and love, so much from myself, before what I want gets in the way.  I write this like I’ve got it figured out, but those who know me well know that the selfish me lurks and rears his ugly face far too quickly still.  I can only say I’m growing.

 

Sentences #5

We are in each others minds,
Statues and graven images of others.
Fragments, never wholly formed, even in ourselves.

 

I severely dislike the TTC (Toronto’s public transit). Years of mismanagement both of labor, costs, and construction have left us a system that is rather unpleasant to use at too high a cost.  That said, there are benefits to riding the TTC.  I have recently begun using my all-too-frequent subway trips as an opportunity to read and write. Today’s trip featured the reading of Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Cost of Discipleship and prompted this post.

After I recently discovered that I was reading far less than I would like I decided to look for opportunities to read that I was overlooking. Instead of just putting my headphones in and zoning, as I’ve been prone to do, I began to pack my bag with a book, my moleskine, some stickynotes, and my trusty iPhone. Armed with this kit I read and take notes while riding the subway.  I then write drafts of posts which I save to the phone, then the drafts folder on wordpress, before posting them here.

I heard that part of the reason that N.T. Wright is able to write as much as he does is because he has a car and driver in his role as bishop of Durham. I have a subway and engineer, and plan to take full advantage of this. Although I’m sure the smell in Wright’s car is more pleasant.

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I had a good friend hang out with me today who is visiting from New Brunswick.  In trying to think of places that were fun and affordable I decided to show her the Distillery District.  One of the downtown areas that was useless, and has now been wonderfully revitalized as an arts centre.  I had a couple of realizations while we were down there and in my conversations with my friend afterwards.

The first is that art, beautiful, tangible, thought-provoking art is not dead.  Sure there was one gallery with a whole lot of paint splashed on canvasses with clever titles like untitled 1, untitled 2, untitled 3.  Yet apart from that one gallery there were four more we visited that had imagery you could get a hold of.  Some were more obscure, with shapes and objects coalescing only on closer examination.  Others were overt in imagery yet profound in meaning.  I was particularly struck by the work of Mark Henson who incorporated surrealism into some stunning critiques of our consumeristic lifestyle.  (warning:there is some graphic/disturbing content following the link).  His work is on display at the Meta Gallery.

My other realization was that art must be imbued with some meaning from its creator.  The notion of creating a piece (particularly of abstract art) that leaves everything up to the viewer is ridiculous.  The idea that you can charge 2500 dollars for it means you are capitalizing on rich people with no taste.  Too throw paint at a canvas in random, though sometimes striking, fashion is not something only the select few can do.  If a person truly wants to seek their own meaning in imagery they can examine the cracks in a sidewalk, or the pattern of bricks in a building, or the time honoured cloud-watching.  The meaning can be vague, hidden in visual clues and hinted at in the title, but it must exist.  Meaningless art is not art at all.  It is at best visual nihilism.

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I am settling down for the night and decided to read an old essay of Chesterton’s called on lying in bed. I found myself wondering whether Chesterton would appreciate the iPhone. I can lie down and blog, draw, or even make music with this little thing. I think he would appreciate that. However I also think he would worry that we’d do what we all too often do: Bury our nose in the device and miss the adventure unfolding before us. Forgetting to embrace the journey of real life. It is one thing to enjoy the distractions of lying in bed with an iPhone. If is quite another to live there.

You can read the whole essay here: http://www.online-literature.com/chesterton/tremendous-trifles/10/

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Carpe Diem

I’m trying to seize the day, really, just not on Mondays. Mondays are a hard day to seize. Even if you love what you do, you just had a couple of days to do what you want with. Sure there were responsibilities around the house you probably had to attend to. But you didn’t have to get up early to get to them. Mondays are when you lose the two days that belonged to you and have to go to the five days that belong to someone else. Anyway, I guess today was a gift, and good things happened. I think I’ll believe that a little more tomorrow though.

 

Beneath the streets…

Ever since I read Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere I dream of adventures below cities.

 

Appearance is everything.

This afternoon I agonized over how formal, or not, I should dress for a job interview.  I ended up deciding to forego the tie and just wear nice pants, shoes, shirt, and a jacket.  I say this only because instead of trying to come up with something interesting to say, I’ve spent the last hour working on the header image for this new site of mine.  It is still not quite what I would like it to be.  But I can say with some confidence that I have at least gotten the size right.  Anyway, I should have been sleeping a long while ago.  Just thought I’d keep you abreast of the ongoing changes here… and the reasons I continue to fail to blog with any semblance of regularity.

 

Taking Blogging Seriously

I would love to write more.   I would love to put provocative, witty, and intelligent posts up on a daily basis.   I just can’t.  I think it is because I take blogging seriously.  If bloggers are going to be taken seriously then to a certain extent we have to take this thing we do seriously.  So I try not to be lazy and actually find sources that confirm what I say.  I read lots and comment little… I blog even less.  This is because I try to ensure that my posts find some sort of grammatical and logical coherence.  I still believe in capitalization, periods, and spellchecks.  I have some difficulty with paragraphs, but I’m working on it.  

I blog little because I want to blog write well.  Maybe this defeats the point of blogging, but if all I leave is this little corner of cyberspace I would like it to not embarrass me posthumously.

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