Liam Kinnon

Paris is a beautiful city. Everywhere I turn there is another amazing building, beautiful garden, or wonderful mural. The scope and scale of the architecture is astonishing. The Louvre is gigantic for a museum, and it was originally the palace. It is one of many impossibly large buildings in this city. I really only have one complaint: the whole place smells vaguely of urine.

I’m not sure whether the locals notice it, but I don’t think they do, mainly because they all smoke. I don’t blame them for this, in fact I understand. Today was the first time I smelled cigarette smoke and thought it was better than the ostensibly fresh air I was breathing.

I’ve been trying to figure out what came first, the smell or the smoking. I think it was the smell. I’m sure when tobacco arrived the Parisians got right on board. “zeez smellz much beeter zen ze aire we are breathing” I’m sure they all said to each other.

In Canada, as part of our stop smoking legislation, cigarette cartons are required to include a warning that says “Tobacco can reduce your sense of taste and smell.” I don’t think the French should adopt this model, I believe it would only increase sales.

Too much to do today, so I’ll leave Buechner’s memoirs to a later date.  Instead I give you my most recent graph.

This is why I use a Mac, it is so much more reliable when you are trying to enslave humanity.

It isn’t the first for me, but it might be the first for you.  

Airplane, from College Humor.

For those of you who missed the Superbowl. This may be the greatest thing to happen to paid for airtime.

Someone brilliant discovered a number of passages from Barack Obama’s reading of “Dreams of my Father” that are of dubious moral character.  If you are as easily amused as I am you will get a kick out of hearing the President of the United States saying “you ain’t my bitch.”

HT: Althouse

This really changes the whole tenor of the comic strip.  A Garfield without Garfield really just makes Jon look like a nutball.

HT: Althouse

Historians are reporters of the olds.

My friend Tom pulled a late nighter fueled by the energy drink Nos.  He posted a note describing his experience and then asked a series of questions highly relevant to current issues.  I decided to shed some light on these issues for him by answering those questions. As the Ninja says: Gauntlet thrown, Gauntlet picked up, and now I’m about to beat you over the head with Gauntlet.  Some of these answers might be obscure to the general public.  I apologize in advance for that.

Why does tap dancing exist?
Ask Wikipedia.

Who does Shaquile O’Neal look up to?
Ask Wikipedia.

Why is bowling fun?
There’s something satisfying about seeing the black ball knock down all the self righteous white pins. – Family Guy

Why did McDonald’s get rid of their pizza?
Ask Wikipedia.

How many times will Wendy’s bring back the bacon mushroom melt?
They will do it until they realize that mushrooms are gross. If I don’t want fungus between my toes I don’t want it in my stomach.

Do terrorists dream?
You dream during the REM cycle. REM is the most important part of sleep. If you don’t sleep you die. Terrorists (most of them) aren’t dead (yet). Therefore terrorists dream.

Do rodents think their lives are important?
Humans are the only beings who can look both to the past, the present, and the future in any meaningful way. Rodents do not have a concept of “I in this moment”, “I in the future” or “I after I am dead.” Therefore they don’t think their lives are important because they can’t think their lives are important. The most important thing a rodent can think is “what garbage can am I going to overturn next?”

Can tigers be Communist?
The terrorist group “Tamil tigers” subscribes to socialism, which is communism if you are a cold war American president. So the answer is yes.

Can you give a tip to whoever served you justice?
If it came with bacon, eggs, and bottomless coffee… yes.

Why does the letter ‘X’ exist?
To wear on your finger apparently.

Do you guys like potatoes?
Almost any way.

Who invented the muffin?
Ask wikipedia.

My friend Roy sent me this, I laughed for a good ten minutes.  If anyone knows whose picture this is so I can credit them that would be sweet.  Otherwise I’ll wait on the C&D.