It seems like basic courtesy is a dying art. A friend of mine is in the process of organizing an event. He sent out an email to the invitees. Almost immediately someone replied with two snarky sentences about how he should change the options, options people. Like somehow his planning wasn’t enough because he didn’t factor this one persons plans into things.
Society has conventions for a reason. It allows us to ascribe value to people with a modicum of effort. This guy’s rudeness could have been alleived by a few basic steps.
1. Obey the conventions of letter writing when sending an email to someone you are not on familiar terms with. This essentially means a greeting, the content, and the signature. It looks like:
Hi Mr. Saunders,
Your “chicken” is delicious and disturbing.
Regards,
Liam
30 seconds more work and you look way more professional.
2. Reread what you write. We don’t have the luxury of a slow mailing process to consider how we might come across. This means we have to artificially create one. Reread your emails as if you just received it. How does it make you feel? Could you come across more pleasantly? You can seem a lot more intelligent by just waiting a few moments after spouting off before you hit send. At the very least it helps reduce the number of typos and grammatical errors.
3. Unless it is imperative, don’t hit reply-all. If you have a negative or corrective comment, send it to the sender alone. It is just plain stupid to publicly try and correct someone if you can do it privately. Hitting reply-all just ends up making the conversation a battle of egos. If you can avoid putting someone’s reputation on the line, do.
This is very important for emails, message boards, etc. Especially the rereading part. You can sound rude or crazy just by not editing.
My dad once hit reply-all accidentally while emailing his bosses back with a negative comment about a former partner who was in a dispute with his firm. Fortunately everyone already knew the guy was a jackass, but he was pissed anyway.
Thanks for writing that Liam…and somehow I know exactly whom this is directed at. I’m sorry it has become such a problem, as the person involved can be quite complex, but I just want you guys to know I REALLY appreciate your effort!